new life in sem3

this sem got a new topic which is psychiatric. our tutor like us to say somethings which is very make ppl sad somtime. this time the topic is " if i go 1st". in me "if i go 1st"...........in this 21 years i had live quite long and im very appreciate every friends and every experience im going through..las time i dono wana say wat o may b not even think about it. my family are the ppl i very care about i really wish they're happy when im not here again.i wana say to them im very sorry for im i'd done wrong o may b talk somethings not suppose to..if i go i wan them care their own health especially my mum whose had a chronic kidney problem.

after tat i wan say to all my fren i wan them every1 appreciate the 1 whose close to them.bcz when the time u wan care them may b wont hav chance den wil very regret about it. after tat the 1 i love i hope she'll find her happiness and don worry bout me bcz i'll be with the Heavenly Father. i know when i was in hard time u always by my side and i wish to be with you forever but i cant. i hope the time can stop a while for me to be with you and hug u on my chest. i wan to say tat i love u so much..i hope we can meet may b in other life and be with you.

tat jus like the road i had goin through....las time hav me but now its empty....but the life of every1 i hope happy....

LIFE IN SEM2

i was more hard than was i think for semester 2. wat im studies sumtime i oso dono bout it....need memorise all kind of sickness and medicine....oh my GODD!! hope this sem i'll pass...hehe

practical

On Jun i was on my practical at Hospital Sentosa. At 1st i was tot really goin to take care of crazy ppl inside ther...but luckily no...its bcz inside had a extension wing from SGH. it was the geriatric unit or in other word it's for old ppl who were sick. and tat was my group....

Now was the season for exam for every schools,colleges and universities...surely im oso in it...i was struggle for my hardest topic anatomy and physiology..the note to be study was thicker than the kamus dewan..oh my God....but i hope there was no ppl will fail bcz at least can break the record of the seniors...now i jus left my last paper..and everynight sleep at 2.30 or 3.30am and wake up at 6.30am to continue the revisions...

i was now felt my life was became much n much more busy than last time. its was good anyway because i wont think somethings will make me felt sad and i'll always be happy. every1 need be happy because without it we seems like a dead people. the time i start dont have u by my side i was sad but at last i felt myself was dump because i wana give up everythings....YOU are the 1 make me now be a new person and too dump of me because u not love me at all.. oh ya..by the way i wana know what is the meaning of love in you actually. i really not understand about it..but at least tat was my most happiest time with you..

everyday in my life got some1 there always for me and the person is God. God wont leave me but will always accompany by my side and guide me for what im doing. He's the 1 changing my life and was thankful to Him. without Him i think i was still a dump person still had the down syndrome. my health was ok because just sick sometime but at least i can do the things i wan to..imagine tat a person the blood pressure can go over than 200 when the most critical and heartbeat can up more than 110 and tat person is me but luckily i was survive. doctor told me that if another ppl sure the blood vessels already explode and go to see God.

In this world there were just few things will make ppl worry and sad....1st money, 2nd health, 3rd love. this 3 things can make ppl going crazy and die because of it.

that all for this blog because now still want to continue my revision fo my last subject...hope every1 were happy with their life and had a good health

anatomy and physiology about heart

its a amazing things...lolz.....heart is jantung not hati but still many ppl talk as hati....lolz

new life of me

its have been a new life after i quit my university(uum).i came back kuching to study my medic which is offered by goverment.its a kind of sponsorship but if i failed to complete my studies then i have to pay RM110,000.its a lot for me to bare but i took the risk oso bcz its my dream to be in the medic.so i'll more hardworking to studies so that wont let anyone to disappoint wif it.

i have been studies at the gov college for 2 month and its quite tough..ther already 4 person quit bcz cant stand wif the stress of studies,rules,sch management and so on..its too strict!!!! but its gud for me actually.i start to learn new things n forget the passed.now in my head jus all about my studies and i hope "you" wont send sms for me again bcz i'm kinda hate u in my heart actually.if u had go then u should not back to find me anymore...

las 2 weeks i was sent to general hospital bcz of my headache..i ad a critical migrain. den was ask stay back for further checking...i was a bit gonna go back heaven with my God but luckily i was been safe by doctor ther..i think my sick is becoming more serious day by day liao

its after a month plus

now already more than a month and i didn't msg much with her again.may b jus around 3 or 4 messages only.its because i hope she was happy without me.yah,may b im stupid but what to do.right?what i can do just left it bit by bit and hope 1 day i can easy forget about her.i've been offered assist medic course by sarawak general hospital and proceed to study medic after the 3 years course of it.i was happy and the meantime i was sad because have to leave here.besides that,i already have many friends at here.eventhough i sad but still need to leave here.i hope everyone are happy then do the best in their study in the future and i miss everyone.sorry my friend i cant continue the 2nd semester with you guys anymore.

its the wedding of my cousin,Laura..here i wish her happy till old n born a lot of kids soon...hehehe

3rd week

it had been 3 weeks.everyday counting how many day had passed.hm...every1 ask me give up but i'm stil thinking whether wana give up o not.may b i will but in my heart still got her eventhough i give up.its bcz me n her not jus 1 day or 1 month but ald bout 2 years n i gav out a lots of my love for her.hm....dono y till today i still can felt tat she jus beside with me and haven brake up.y i still think the impossible things meanwhile i knew she wont back anymore.jus broke up nt up to a month she ald had bf???im not really believe it.its a stupid reason wan me to believe.today is my nearest cousin wedding.im rushing her slide for a week n did not sleep well for a week.jus nw 9:00am start the church ceremony.she is very pretty n her husband was handsome. my mind sudden think bout her a while n imagine if tat me n her but jus bout few second.act i bought a pair rings for us las time jus wana giv her when meet her while chinese new year on next year but nw i kept the rings n put on my necklace.ok back to my cousin,hahahaa....i saw her mum was crying but she told me she wont cry..hahaha..i took her pic den i'll show n "kacau" her...muahahahaha....oh ya...when exchange rings my cousin was crying while speak the testament..oh my God..is it she very happy???hahaha..gonna b wife liao n soon sure God giv them a "light".if u guys noe wat i mean.hahaha...hope don so soon la..bcoz i ald had few nephews n nieces call me uncle, n i felt im so old ler..haih...lucky my youngest niece dono speak yet so cant call....hahaha...den after finish i wana took photo ther too many ppls took photo too..got a women so stupid while i took photo she suddenly came in front my camera den took their photo too..i felt wana kick her..wat i took jus her stupid head nia...haih dump women she is...tonight dinner i hope can took her most beautiful photo den put on my blog n intro to all if u...hahahaha.....plus i'll put their wedding photo too....hehe....very pretty ah....

２个星期后

两个星期后就是作天的我已经慢慢的把她给放下了但是也开始病了最近不知为什么心跳不正常也全身一时发冷一时发热。而只想给她一张问候的信息，知道她肚痛就想关心她一下。但她却嫌我啰嗦，haih..而且还告诉我不必再为她操心因为她有男友照顾（听了有点心酸）。好吧居然那么说了我也不再打扰她了。在下午6：15pm，我接到一通无名的来电。我还以为是我西马朋友的但接了以后，感觉突然有点不对竟。是男的打给我就一开口说＂你别再给我女友信息了，你一直给她信息她很烦＂。我还以为打错电话了呢，还好声的说＂你是不是找错人了＂。他回答＂我是筱金现任男友＂。我的心突然好疼好疼就直接的把手机给盖了。我的泪又要开始但我告诉自己不能再那么弱了而把泪给忍了。我好像发觉我好没用好笨。。我爱她那么深而为她牺牲了那么多我却得到的是残忍的对待与冷漠的回报。我怎样她才高兴呢？是不是要我永远的消失吗？？我心好痛好痛。。我知我没钱，不是纯真华人，不帅也病多。。但也不必那么的对我啊。。你到底有没有在我的角度想过呢？
我昨晚也没睡，一直在想。突然想到我每次劝朋友的话语＂放弃你不爱的人是很容易，但要你放弃一个你很爱的人是很难，所以不要轻易说爱因为爱就是要包容对方不管好或坏＂。也想到了上帝给子女＂爱＂是要子女都不觉得孤单，希望子女都珍惜对方，希望子女都感觉到幸福，而且＂爱＂就是快乐的根源。想到这，我对上帝祷告。我把一切的一切解脱，不再想她也必定要坚强起来。我得到的爱已经足够了。我要得到的真正的快乐而不是从我本身而已。现我要帮每个人得到他们的幸福快了而我就快乐了。我已经知道为何上帝不带我走的真正原因了。就是帮他人找到幸福。接下来的我是跟随上帝了。。谢谢你给我的爱，我会珍惜你给的一切。也祝福你快乐。。

1st week

Now is a week already me and xiao jing break up...i still can felt the pain inside.i hope i can no longer have the pain anymore.its suffering..why wan be like that??who can answer me?
there are so many problem come out in my life so suddenly even my studies too..stupid university..more 4 days den i can go back home.so miss them but dont know why i got a feeling that i felt dont want go back home.seems like go back there are no more anyone for me at there.haih.........really terrible...

我过去的爱

她是一个很平凡的女子但我却很爱她。我们是２月２６号２００７在一起的。在这份爱情我都把我全心去爱，保护与呵护她。跟她一起我感觉到我可以变的自然和真正的自己。她真的给我很多很多的爱也让我感觉到幸福，她也是一样。我们一起经过很多的风和浪。我们第一次见面的时候我好像能感觉到她就是那个我一直寻找另一半的我。虽然见面只是区区的５天但我们彼此都很珍惜对方。因为我们都来自不同的地方。一天一天的过我感决到我越来的爱她而还跟她说我们以后的婚事，也答应她会好好的照顾她。但很可惜的是她父母亲都非常反对我们一起，因为我是来自穷人家庭。那能理解因为父母都不希望儿女们都活的痛苦。过后为了要在一起她还跟她父母亲吵了。然后呢满满的我们也静下了但我们都还爱着。但是我会一直的生病，每次都会头痛之类的。这已经不是一两天的事了，因为我天生身体弱。就着样我们过了一年。然后一年又八个月了，就是最进了我感觉到有点怪怪的。她好像突然间的很冷很冷。我问她为什么但是她又不答我。另一方面这个月也是我的年终考试的开始。她应该是没办法再忍了吧，就提出分手因为她说她累了。然后呢我一再二再三的很努力拼命把她挽回但很可惜的是都挽不回了。我在那晚上真的崩溃了。我好像失去我的灵魂。不知自己该怎样才好。我一直的失眠到今天。这份爱情我会等待着她的回来。也一边的祝福她过的开心。我真的好爱你。